Two years ago, I separated from my children’s father after 18 years. While no separation is ever easy on kids, I kind of chose the worst possible time to do it–during my daughter’s junior year, known as the year that colleges look more closely at. It was heartbreaking to watch her struggle academically when she had always been a straight-A student.
So I was transparent, and spoke to her teachers to give them a heads up and avoid her being labeled as “lazy.” Fortunately, many of her teachers had known her from her freshman and sophomore year and realized something was up. Together we managed to survive and she went on to have an amazing senior year and is now finishing her first year away at college.
It can be heartbreaking and concerning for parents when they see their child is struggling academically and may not pass the current grade. Whether it’s due to a lack of motivation, a learning disability, or personal challenges, it can be very hard for both the student and parents. Yet there’s still time to work through things and seek support if necessary.
1. Have open communication
Be sure to start with an honest conversation with your child. Avoid being confrontational and ask open-ended questions about their struggles to get a better idea of what’s going on.
- What do you find difficult in school?
- Is there something specific that makes it hard for you to focus or understand the material?
- Do you feel like you’re getting enough help?
Sometimes children avoid talking about their struggles because they fear judgment or punishment. Offering a safe and supportive environment helps build trust and makes it easier for them to speak up and ask for help.
2. Figure out the root cause
Children can struggle in school for a variety of reasons. Some reasons that students struggle in school include:
- Learning disabilities: Conditions like dyslexia or ADHD can make school work challenging and impact performance.
- Emotional or social Issues: Bullying, anxiety, or low self-esteem can affect a student’s ability to focus and succeed academically.
- Lack of motivation or interest: Some children may find the material boring or feel disconnected from the subject matter. Finding new ways to pique their interest or motivate them can help.
- Family issues: Problems at home like divorce, financial stress, or health problems can have a big impact on their academics.
If necessary, consider seeking professional help such as educational assessments or counseling to get to the bottom of the issue.
3. Work closely with their school
They always say that teachers and parents are partners. If your student is struggling, communicate with your child’s teacher beyond just the parent-teacher conferences to create a game plan. Teachers often have insights into your child’s behavior in class, their participation, and any patterns that might not be immediately visible to you.
Their school can also offer support in multiple ways:
- Tutoring: See if their school offers any tutoring that your student can take advantage of, or look for a program in your neighborhood. There are also options like Dial-A-Teacher where students can get free homework help throughout the week.
- Modified assignments: If your child is struggling to keep up, speak with their teacher about possibly modifying assignments.
- Special education services: If a learning disability is suspected, be sure to have your child evaluated and be open to any suggestions that their teacher offers.
4. Routine, routine, routine
A structured routine can make a huge difference when it comes to academic success. Children thrive on routine and predictability, so establishing a consistent homework and study schedule can help them stay on track.
- Ensure that your child has a space where they can focus without distractions such as TV, video games, or excessive noise.
- Break assignments into smaller tasks and set realistic goals.. This can help your child stay organized and feel less overwhelmed.
- Overworking can lead to frustration and burnout. Encourage your child to take regular breaks to refresh and reset.
5. Summer school
Students who are not promoted to the next grade in NYC are required to participate in summer learning. Principals then make the decision that they will be promoted to the next grade based on their summer work. So if your child does need to go to summer school, be sure that they attend and turn in all of their work as it is one last chance to be able to move on to the next grade. Learn more.
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