Growing up in New York City is a very unique experience. We’ve got amazing cultural institutions, cuisines from all over the world, and it also happens to have the largest transportation system in North America. Many students rely on these buses and trains to get to school. This begs the age-old question: at what age should your child start commuting to school by themselves?
Is your child ready to commute solo?
The first step is deciding if your child is actually ready to commute alone. When you’re out with them, do they pay attention to their surroundings or just rely on you? Do they know how to use a Metrocard/OMNY card in the train station and/or on the bus? Are they okay with asking a police officer or MTA employee for help if need be? And do they have an understanding of how the train and bus systems work? Keep in mind that each kid is different; just because their sibling started taking transit alone at a particular age does not mean they will be the same.
While many parents we asked said they began letting their kids commute to school by themselves around age 12, most agreed that it’s not a one-size-fits-all. “My 18-year-old has been taking buses and trains for a few years now and travels all over the boroughs by himself, but my 19-year-old isn’t that person. So it goes by different personalities,” Bronx mom and teacher Christina Cespedes told us. Several other moms told us that an older sibling started at a certain age, but their younger sibling simply isn’t ready at the same age.
Guidance counselor advice
We spoke to Joyce Lee, a middle school guidance counselor in the Bronx. She agreed that this is not a one-size-fits-all answer, “Cultural norms/family norms and expectations as well as the child’s individual developmental level play the biggest deciding factors,” she says. “In NYC, middle school seems to be the age to start teaching children how to commute on their own. It all depends on the child’s ability to take on that responsibility.”
Here’s what she says parents should consider:
- Their kids’ level of maturity in terms of taking on the responsibility
- How far and difficult the commute can be (she says to take a few test runs and see how comfortable both parent and kid are with the commute)
- Make sure they are comfortable with the neighborhood
Lee says that safety precautions should be discussed. “It can be scary for both parent and preteens to take this step, but it is also necessary to teach independence since middle school prepares the ground for high school.”
How to prep your kids for the commute
Once you’ve decided that your child is indeed ready to use public transportation by themselves, there are some ways you can help them prepare.
Get familiar with the route: Lizzie LoParo-Rivera, mom to a 12-year-old, says that she’s been taking her daughter on practice runs this summer. She says that the plan is to commute each day with a friend but to still learn how to navigate the route on her own.
Learn alternative routes: We all know that things can happen along our route, so make sure to share alternative options to getting to and from school. Thankfully, students these days have smartphones and can access train and bus schedules as well as update parents on their whereabouts. I can’t begin to imagine how my family handled not having direct access to me as a teen.
Tip: Download the MTA app for IOS or Android so you and your student can be aware of service alerts and know when the next train or bus is coming.
Staying safe on the commute
Once your student is comfortable traveling to and from school by themselves, it is still important that they are mindful of how to stay safe during their commute.
The New York City Department of Education has a list of safe travel tips for both buses and trains. Some of them include:
When taking the bus:
- Get to the bus stop at least five minutes before the bus is scheduled to arrive
- When the bus approaches, stand at least three giant steps (six feet) away from the curb, and line up away from the street.
- If you have to cross the street in front of the bus, walk on the sidewalk or along the side of the road to a point at least five giant steps (10 feet) ahead of the bus before you cross. Be sure that the bus driver can see you, and you can see the bus driver.
- Never walk behind the bus.
When taking the train:
- Be careful when going up or down stairs.
- Stand back from the edge of the platform.
- Never jump onto the tracks for any reason.
- If the train is stuck between stations, stay in the train and follow instructions.
- Do not ride between cars.
- Do not attempt to get on the train after it has started moving.
- If there are no seats, find a pole to hold.
- Do not eat or drink on the train.
What about headphones?
Jen Chiang, Founder at Wear Opal, a smart ring that allows users to discreetly request assistance from 911 and emergency contacts, says to only wear one earphone while on public transportation. She says that “noise-canceling headphones may enrich your audio experience, but also distort your alertness.” She also says that having at least one headphone in can allow you to easily hop on a call or at least pretend that you’re on a call.
Keeping tabs on your student
Many phones allow your student to automatically share their location with you, which can give you peace of mind as they make their way to and from school. There are also apps like Life360 where you can set alerts to let you know when your child has left home or school.
Have an emergency plan
Do you have a family member who lives near the school or a library along the route in case your student is unable to make it home due to bad weather or transit delays?
Tip: Create a teen account on Uber in case your student needs to request a rideshare. Parents are then able to track their ride from pickup to drop off.
Breathe
While you might never imagine a time when your student is old enough to travel by public transportation alone, it’s important that we give our children the life skills they need to navigate more than just the NYC transit system. St. Hope Leadership Academy has a great reminder on their website of the benefits of independent travel to school:
- Experience independence
- Gain responsibility as they learn to keep time and schedules
- Understand and respect public safety rules and regulations
- Get physical exercise as they walk to or from the bus or train
- Engage with their community in a way that is unique from riding in a car
Safe travels!
Check out more of our education stories here.
