When Amanda Aponte was a high school senior, prom was everything. As part of the planning committee, she had been counting down to the night for months. But her most vivid memory is of a floor-length golden halter dress with floral appliqués — a style she first spotted on actress Jessica Alba at a red carpet event.
Nearly 18 years later, Aponte is helping teens create their own golden moments— despite the rising costs of prom dresses and the crushing burden of NYC rents.
Aponte launched the Queens Public Library’s first prom drive last year — and re-launched it last weekend. This year, rising prices tied to the threat of tariffs on imports from China, Canada, and Mexico have only added to the costs of prom attire, according to some local dress shop owners.
“As parents, you’re constantly dealing with the struggle of, ‘I want my kid to have the best, but I also need to pay the rent,’” Aponte said. “Is it that our kids would have to suffer the cost of not being able to experience this quintessential moment in their young adulthood?”
And parents know that they can trust the Queens Public Library to coordinate this kind of program, according to Aponte. It helps that it’s hosted by familiar faces in a familiar space: the Cambria Heights Library Teen Center, where many local kids do everything from college readiness coaching to simply hanging out with their friends.
“They don’t really have anywhere else to go, and so they feel safe here,” Aponte said, making it more likely they’ll feel comfortable prom shopping there.
Dress stressing all year
Teens face pressure around everything from extravagant “promposals” to finding the perfect outfit. And prom FOMO is as real as ever.
The unaffordability of prom wear highlights yet another link between mental health and the rising costs of goods. However, high school seniors aren’t necessarily shouting it out in the library. Prom often surfaces in side conversations, tucked between talk about colleges and summer plans.
“If I am a teen and I’m struggling financially and I don’t know that I can afford a dress to go to prom, I don’t know how comfortable I would be to go into a space and just openly talk about that in front of my peers or maybe people that work there,” Aponte said.
She remembers her own moment of silent discomfort years ago after falling for the Jessica Alba-inspired gown in a local boutique. It was the last one in stock — and, somehow, it was her size. However, the magic of finding “the one” was tinged with guilt. The dress cost around $300, and Aponte worried it was too much for her mother. When she walked out of the dressing room, she downplayed her joy.
It turned out her mom had been saving and knew the price all along.
“This feeling is why this event is so important to me,” Aponte said in an email. “I want our teens to have the magic moment of finding the perfect dress that they feel and look incredible in, without the feeling of guilt associated with having a parent or loved one feel that they had to spend above their means to give it to them.”
Last year, some parents who attended the prom drive were more vocal, telling staffers: “‘I have been stressing all year. I didn’t know how I was going to get my daughter to prom,’” Aponte recalls. “‘That’s been weighing on me, and now she’s leaving here with a beautiful dress. She feels so happy.’”
With their kid’s attire set — complete with accessories — parents just had to worry about buying a prom ticket.
Designed with dignity
The QPL staff designs the event with dignity in mind. Last year they laid out all the dresses, accessories, and shoes so people could easily browse and try things on — complete with mirrors, foot socks, and dressing rooms converted from sound booths in the teen center. This year, they’re adding a shoe rack.
“I don’t want it to feel like, ‘oh, I’m going to this library to get something free and have to dig through a box to find some shoes,’” Aponte said. “We want it to feel like this is special. We’re not taking anything away from you just because you’re getting the items for free.”
To add to the experience, they set up a photo wall with a big backdrop for pictures after outfit selections, carefully bagged the dresses at checkout, and gave out tote bags filled with a “night out emergency kit” that included a makeup bag, compact mirror, nail file, lip gloss, and makeup remover wipes.
“Going to the prom was one of my biggest dreams and COVID killed it”
For Aponte and for many teens, prom isn’t just about sequins or selfies but a major milestone. And when that milestone is taken away, whether by finances or forces beyond their control, the loss can be deeply felt.
Rozelyn Murray knows that loss firsthand. She had dreamed about her prom for years — but when the pandemic shut down New York City schools, her vision was abruptly canceled.
“Going to the prom was one of my biggest dreams and COVID killed it,” she wrote in an essay published in COVID in the City, edited and featured in When the City Stopped, by historian Robert W. Snyder. “It makes me angry because why didn’t the government have this under control? High school is pretty much over and I waited for this for the longest.”
Murray and her mother had moved into a shelter in 2019 after her mother lost her job. School became her refuge — a place where she could laugh with friends, feel supported by teachers, and just be a teenager. When in-person classes ended in March 2020, all of that vanished. She felt isolated in a life marked by microwaved meals, a cramped room, and the slow unraveling of friendships.
Still, Murray pushed forward. But missing prom left her with a particular kind of heartbreak. The pandemic “stole the joy from seeing my teachers face to face, hanging out in the gym with my friends, and meeting new people,” she writes.
For teens like Murray, prom was a symbolic marker of survival, friendship, and growing up. It’s a reminder of why today’s prom drives matter so much — and why prom FOMO can hit hard.
A final glow-up before goodbye
For some, prom can be a rare balm for the deepening loneliness crisis plaguing Gen Z. National surveys show record levels of social isolation — even as teens spend hours each day connecting with each other online.
For Tabitha Viera, a 19-year-old psychology major from the Bronx, prom was a portal. It gave her and her friends one final, glowing night together before scattering to upstate colleges and new cities.
With the excitement also came pressure: finding the right dress, worrying about what came after, showing up, being seen. “You only get one prom,” she said. “So if you don’t feel like you look a certain way, it’s stressful.”
Viera wanted to look like a mermaid. She hunted late into the season, finally landing on her dream dress — plucked off a rack by her mom at the Palisades Mall. The emerald green gown hugged her figure, its sequins sparkling like scales. It was expensive, but she cut costs by doing her own hair and doing her nails differently than she’d had in mind.
On prom night, Viera felt radiant under the gazebo lights, posing for group photos she knew would become relics. Since last year, with everyone enmeshed in their new college lives, she and her friends have only been able to all meet up once.
The gazebo moment “was whimsical,” she said. “We were all happy to take pictures because we felt good. We felt like ourselves — or like heightened versions of ourselves.”
She remembers, at one point later that night, looking around while her friends danced. “They were so happy, and I was just reflecting, like, ‘oh my god, this is one of the last times we’re all going to be in the same place.’”
For Viera, that one night – and her look in emerald green – encapsulated being fully present with friends.
Sometimes one look can span multiple moments. Last year, Aponte donated her gold dress at the library’s prom shopping event and witnessed a teen and her mom selecting that very gown. For Aponte, it was a full-circle moment.
“That dress got to live a second life,” she said. “That’s the kind of memory I hope we keep making every year.”
How teens can shop for their dream prom outfit
The Prom x QPL Giveaway will be held at the Cambria Heights Teen Center with shopping appointments still available on the following dates:
- Wednesday, April 16, 11 a.m.-5 p.m.
- Thursday, April 17, 1 p.m.-6 p.m.
- Friday, April 18, 11 a.m.-5 p.m.
Registration is required to participate in the prom attire giveaway. Registration is available on a first-come, first-served basis. Please fill this out carefully, as QPL has limited capacity and a limited number of attires available.
Items are only available for students who are attending prom this spring. Prom attire sizing is limited. Students may bring one (1) friend or family member to accompany them.
Here are a couple other local prom drives. If you know of others based in NYC, please email hello@epicenter-nyc.com
